I know what you’re thinking. You’re probably wondering what exactly is a McMinsiter? To properly answer this question we must first examine the McWedding.
The first time I heard “McWedding” it was in reference to my own nuptials, and I was offended. Let me explain. My wife and I are simple people. We elected to have our wedding on a boat in Newport Beach. The company we chose had a simple and convenient list of vendors to choose from, so my bride Jenny and I picked our DJ, photographer, cake, and flowers pretty much in one afternoon. When we recounted this to my sister, she referred to what we were doing as a “McWedding” which is to say, generic, uninspired, or run of the mill.
Jenny and I consider ourselves to be interesting and unique people, so the idea of a boring, cookie-cutter wedding did not sit well with us. We were very particular about what we wanted, and in the end our wedding was beautiful and we were thrilled, but simply picking from a list of provided packages had earned our ceremony and event the unenviable distinction of McWedding.
Though I hate to admit it, my sister had a point. She wasn’t right about the flowers (they were beautiful) or the music (it was amazing) or even the photographer (he ruled), but she was right about the minister, and he wasn’t even part of the package! We had asked a pastor from our church to perform our ceremony. We were relatively new to the church and this guy had taught our premarital class, so we felt good about asking him and he said yes. Still, seven years later I couldn’t tell you a single thing that he said. We didn’t have a consultation. We never discussed what we wanted or our vision for the ceremony. He just showed up, did his thing, and he was gone. We trusted him with one of the biggest days of our lives and we never even talked about what he was going to say or do. Which brings us back to the McMinister.
What is a McMinister?
A McMinister is an officiant like the one that we had. He shows up, does HIS thing, and leaves. He doesn’t do anything more and doesn’t do anything less. The McMinister is not a bad guy. In fact, he’s usually a very nice guy and he is helping you by providing a service, but make no mistake, he is the Wal-Mart employee of wedding vendors. He’s going to do just enough to collect a check, which is to say that he’ll be generic, uninspired, or run of the mill. McMinister.
When choosing an officiant, be sure to pick someone who starts by asking what you want, and what YOUR vision is. I have seen and heard way too many horror stories where a couple was presented with a couple of canned, pre-written ceremonies and told to pick one. I’ve even heard that couples were given a “menu” and told to check the boxes of what they want.
Even if you don’t hire me, DO NOT hire a McMinister. If you want to have a memorable wedding ceremony, hire someone that wants to get to know you and will take the time to do so. I often hear that my clients’ wedding guests think that I am a family friend, or that I have known the couple for years. That’s because I take the time to get to know them, ask the right questions, and then deliver a custom ceremony that’s unique to them. I have used and referenced Toy Story, Football Games, and even Prince lyrics in my ceremonies! Why? Because it’s not about me and what I do, it’s about YOU and what you want. I am the anti-McMinister. I am the McMinister terminator.